RSS Snark is dark
Filed in BlogJerry Springer proved that it’s possible to entertain great numbers of people by mocking and humiliating them, and many in the blogosphere follow suit.
It leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. I don’t think it’s funny to watch people making idiots of themselves.
Many great writers specialize in snark, the act of putting down others or pointing out how stupid others are. There are probably as many bloggers with snark as a trademark as there are make-money-online bloggers.
I avoid such sites. I can’t tell if the writers do it out of a feeling of superiority, because they know that it “sells”, or because they’re just plain mean. But I avoid them because I feel that I might one day be the butt of their cruel comments. I can’t quite trust them not to turn on me, or to talk about me behind my back.
There have been occasions when I’ve segued into sarcasm. My recent “disagreement” with the IZEA policy is a case in point. I feel better about myself when I don’t do it, however. Sarcasm is really not productive and is about on a par with nit-pickiness, whining and gossip. There are more positive ways of getting a point across, ways in which both parties can grow.
These ways always involve compassion and empathy, something which involves looking outside the self to figure out how others might receive one’s “words of wisdom.” Pathological critics might have something useful to say, but they are seldom heard because of the way they act. They don’t seem to understand that all their “victim” hears is “blah blah that’s crap blah blah crap” and all they think or feel is, “Would you shut up already? This isn’t giving me anything I can work with.”
Half the battle of any relationship is learning to tell the difference between something that does matter and something that, while annoying, is just a quirk and should be accepted. Compassion is the ability to accept that we’re all human, and to move our boundaries to accommodate.
If we can’t, just can’t move those boundaries, the only way that a truly annoying quirk can be resolved is with dialogue, and not with sarcasm and picky criticism. The classic technique–and it does work–is to sit down and start with “I feel that” rather than “You this that and the other.” Play with that phrasing. “I feel.” There is no accusation here. “You are.” That’s an accusation. Big difference.
Sarcasm, accusation and snark forces a person into a corner, almost guaranteeing that they will go on the defensive; dialogue and personal responsibility gives them a way through the door.
But of course…that requires hard work.
Heaven forbid that we work at our relationships on any level.
Snark is dark because it allows us to hide that no progress is being made under a self-righteous layer of “humor.”
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2 Comments, Comment or Ping
Paula (16 comments.)
Bravo!!! There is a reason you are one of my top two fave blogs (evenstar-art.blogspot.com is the other), and this article seals the deal. Thank you for writing on this topic, it’s controversial for sure. I’ve spoken out about “snark:” before and pretty much got blasted for it. There is a blogger at a blog that pretty much consists entirely of memes full of content blasting others. Mostly celebrities and anonymous people but often people in the blogosphere as well. I spoke out on his blog about it once and got attacked by him and his “friends” and the next day, he was using me as joke fodder in his “blog” saying I was insane etc. Niiiiiice. Oh what fun i could have being snarky back and writing why I think he writes this way (overcompensation anyone?) but until today I haven’t even mentioned it in writing anywhere. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one out there who prefers to avoid this type of writing and for calling it out for what it is.
Feb 24th, 2008
Linda R. Moore
You’re very welcome! I do agree that the classic two wrongs still don’t make a right, so it’s nice to be vindicated on that score.
I’d actually really appreciate a stumble on this if you could, because I think it’s an important message to get out there. I wonder if more people agree than disagree? I sort of think so (I still have that much faith in human nature).
Have a wonderful week. :)
Feb 24th, 2008
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